The Happy Domestic

I do not like housework. I like to cook, bake, even iron clothes, when my house is clean & tidy, and above all QUIET. Which pretty much never happens. I still make an effort to cook and bake when I can muster the fortitude, because the payoff is so worth it! I do love food. But then, I do not like housework. And cooking and baking have the unfortunate side effect of creating more of it. Another blogger mentioned amongst her radical purging that she kept only enough dishes and utensils for one meal, and enough clothes for 7 days. Although I have considered such measures for clothes, it never occurred for me to do the same with dishes! I usually thank God I have so many dishes, so I can get through a whole day of meals (and then some, depending on the meals and who is home) without having to do dishes. But after sitting crusted with food from breakfast until late evening, cereal bowls get harder to clean. Forcing myself to use fewer dishes in a day - what a fantastic idea! I feel a

I must confess I have been doing much more blog reading than blog writing! One of the many blogs I have been sporadically following made the following comment on budgeting for groceries: "If you are on a particularly tight budget, it is realistic to spend $100-$150 per family member for the month." The author also noted that this includes toiletries, diapers, etc. as needed. So, for our family of 6, not counting the 3-4 times a week we are feeding an extra 2 people, we should be spending... $600-$900?? I realize that this is highly subjective depending on what area you live, cost of food, etc., but this blog post was from July 2008! Here we are in 2011, and when I spend $600 a month for groceries, we are definitely over budget! Is my budget unreasonable? I do cook at least a few meals a week from scratch, and I don't buy pre-made meals. My "fast-food" dinners are things like hotdogs or spaghetti. I also have 3 kids in diapers (one almost done toilet training

I came across a great blog last week, on a side trip from I'm An Organizing Junkie , of a mom who describes herself as a slob on a journey of de-slobification. She talks about her difficulty maintaining (isn't that always the kicker) a clean home, and how her ability to see/solve/be-motivated-to-tackle small to medium size messes differs from what she calls "normal people". This strikes a chord with me, even though I have been doing fairly well with keeping my kitchen and dining room in order and nearly keeping up with the laundry recently. The fact is, my poor husband grew up with a normal mom whose house was always neat and clean, except perhaps for brief interludes in a particular room when her kids were playing indoors. Andrew naturally enjoys order, and notices when things are NOT in order. This is not to say that he always picks up after himself (after all, he was the only boy in a good Dutch family with four girls - he had many things done for him) but I mus

Today I am in Belleville taking a course on therapeutic relationships and the effects of complex trauma. I find that no matter how much study, research, and real-life experience one is exposed to, there is always something more you can learn or improve upon. Sometimes when I am in the position of being taught by someone recognized as an authority, I find myself interposing my own values and philosophies and questioning a lot of what I am being taught. Do you? Is this a bad thing? I have heard quite a lot of people say that it is wrong or disrespectful to question authority, but I think I disagree. We should take hold of what anyone tells us (in person, in writing, or through whatever medium) and turn it over, examine it closely, critique it, take it apart and assimilate what is true and useful, then discard or store away the rest. In doing so, we take ownership of what we know and believe, and can better appropriate / apply it to our own circumstances. In this case I am learning a

Our family has grown so quickly over the last three and a half years that most days feel like a little corner of chaos. My three youngest children are in diapers, and my two oldest are excessively hormonal teenagers! We are in the midst of renovations to add space for another child, and my darling husband is trying hard to balance two different jobs with the demands of our family life. Yesterday, notwithstanding the usual chaos, I had my most enjoyable Mothers' Day yet. In the morning I had Cheerios and Earl Grey tea in bed, while I read my favourite blogs and enjoyed a half hour of quiet time. After church I had a lovely and relaxing visit with my mom-in-law and sisters-in-law while the children played outside, and later we enjoyed a walk around our quiet neighbourhood in beautiful sunshine before a quick leftover dinner and bed. After the children were asleep I laid down for a catnap and then played a game on the computer for a little while, and my husband brought me a McD'

Anyone who has known me for a long time can tell you I'm FAR from perfect. I'm messy, disorganized, chaotic, spontaneously irrational, a procrastinator, and frequently just plain lazy. I yell when I'm angry, I am inconsistent, and my housekeeping skills are poor. I don't take time every day to enjoy my children. I binge on fatty, salty, and / or sugary foods when I'm stressed or depressed. I don't intentionally exercise. I speak before I think. I don't keep in touch with friends and family. I don't take enough care of myself. And, I'm not very humble. ;) As it happens, I also have a lot of great qualities, which I prefer to focus on. Sometimes though, every one of us sees (or reads / hears about) someone out there who succeeds in all the areas we fail. Maybe it's a blogger mom who is super organized with an orderly house and great time management skills. Maybe it's a friend who has the perfect marriage (whatever that means to you). Or maybe