The Happy Domestic

Our family has grown so quickly over the last three and a half years that most days feel like a little corner of chaos. My three youngest children are in diapers, and my two oldest are excessively hormonal teenagers! We are in the midst of renovations to add space for another child, and my darling husband is trying hard to balance two different jobs with the demands of our family life. Yesterday, notwithstanding the usual chaos, I had my most enjoyable Mothers' Day yet. In the morning I had Cheerios and Earl Grey tea in bed, while I read my favourite blogs and enjoyed a half hour of quiet time. After church I had a lovely and relaxing visit with my mom-in-law and sisters-in-law while the children played outside, and later we enjoyed a walk around our quiet neighbourhood in beautiful sunshine before a quick leftover dinner and bed. After the children were asleep I laid down for a catnap and then played a game on the computer for a little while, and my husband brought me a McD'...

Well girls, here I am coming out of blogger semi-retirement after such a long lapse. My own family life has consumed so much of my energy these past months that I have had nothing left over to give to the blogosphere... until now. The issue of maternal health is a pressing one, both nationally (in Canada) and globally, and there is much posturing and politicizing on both ends of the spectrum. If you care about women, if you care about humanity, READ THIS. The recent discussion of the G8 agenda for child and maternal health has reopened (at least in Canada) the debate over abortion. I have friends both "pro-life" and "pro-choice", but I have yet to find one person who thinks that abortion is evil but should be permitted. Generally supporters and opposers of access to abortions fall into two categories: 1) those who think it's wrong (usually based on religious beliefs), and 2) those who think it's sometimes the right choice for a woman (based on ethical and ...

Last week, I took the plunge. Pushing aside my habitual procrastination, disorganization and impulsivity, I sat down and created a weekly meal plan. Breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner, dessert or evening snack, and all beverages for each day meticulously planned out to the smallest detail, I then wrote a grocery list based on that plan. I estimated the cost of groceries required. And I had a fit. Here's the thing. My meal plan was based on exactly how much every member of our household eats on a daily basis, and was made up of foods we regularly prepare and consume. Everything was to be made from scratch, and sales and discounts were taken into account. My total came to just about $140. Our weekly grocery budget is $80, but allows for an extra $20 a couple times a month for diapers. How is this possible? I know for a fact that we have not been spending anywhere near $140 a week on groceries. I haven't been eating as much lately due to pregnancy sicknes...

Well folks, it's Christmas Day. Actually, night. And here I am in fine Christmas spirit, exorcising my humbugs on Blogger. I should be catching up on mountains of paperwork, which, actually, I have been doing to a certain extent already, but it's just so hard to concentrate on work with a belly full of treats, a house full of opened presents, and a brain full of notes to self (tinged with a smidgen of hormones). It may not be New Year's Eve yet, but I feel like summing up the year, or at least the month, in review. December has been... interesting. Other possible adjectives include strange, perplexing, frustrating, promising, sickly, busy, predictable, difficult, exciting, and full of change. I have a hard time keeping up with my own life. At least I'm not puking every day, which is more than can be said for the first few weeks of December. At best, my girlies are the highlight of my life, particularly when they're not driving me up the wall. And Thank You God for...

I have heard several couples declare they don't celebrate Valentine's Day. These are loving, well-adjusted couples who give a lot of attention to their relationship and their partners, every day of the year. Valentines Day, in comparison, seems like such a cheap, commercial version of the real thing, that they don't see the point in celebrating it. Sometimes that's how I feel about Christmas. One day 2000-ish years ago, Jesus Christ was born. He lived a remarkable life, and then he died. Three days later he rose again, and he has profoundly impacted the world and my life ever since. We celebrate him every day. We live life with him every day. So decorating a tree and buying presents for others and stuffing ourselves with treats seems so meaningless in comparison. And so much pointless effort. Then I think about how I saw Christmas as a kid. The lights, the tree, the mysterious packages, the delectable smells and tastes, all these gave me a sense of greater magic tha...

I have six kids. Seven if you count my husband. Are they all mine? Thankfully, no. But this kind of craziness explains in part why blogging has taken a backseat to real life in the past ...weeks? month? Anyhow. My girlies are turning 1 and 2 in a week and a bit, and I am going to be 28. For some reason I feel like I've been 28 forever and I should be turning 31 by now. We just found out that we have a foster child being placed in our home full time, and she is already staying with us. This is exciting, and so far things have been going well. All (3) of our girls are getting along great and enjoying each other's company. On Tuesday some friends of ours were able to get last minute flights to Alberta to pick up some belongings that have been missed for some time, so we are also looking after their three school-aged children. Despite my initial panic, life has continued on at a manageable but very busy pace. I love to be creative in the kitchen, but cooking for eight (me and h...

My one girlie loves playing with Mr. Potato Head. She also likes playing "Mr. Potato Head" with her sister.

My girls. Don't ask me why Boo wanted to wear a diaper on her head - she has a thing with hats right now.  And Cutes saw the photo op as another kind of opportunity altogether... as her expression clearly shows.

It has been a good week. Sunday we took the kids to the Stirling quarry with some friends, and enjoyed some swimming and sunning on a gorgeous day. Monday we visited a veteran parent therapy home (for foster kids) and were impressed with what a rewarding opportunity we have, and how well suited to us. Yesterday I bowled badly (Tuesday night bowling league started the beginning of this month), but that was offset by a kind and anonymous giver who left a generous portion of veggies on our front porch - zucchini, squash, cabbage, potatoes... yum! The veggies came at a great time, because I had already gone grocery shopping but had not bought much produce this week. Now I'm baking zucchini bread - several loaves - to freeze for later. Then I'll make some Asian Cabbage Salad (a new family favourite!) and maybe some sauerkraut, and probably a delicious batch of curry for later in the week. Wow, what a blessing! We finally have a few relief days booked, meaning we will be getting...

Lately some conversations have brought me back to thinking about roles in marriage, and gender roles in general. A child development and crisis book I'm reading (from the early 90's) talks a lot about sexism issues and gender bias, but the more I read, the more I'm convinced they're missing the big picture. It seems that in our push to swing the pendulum away from the fiercely patriarchal and misogynistic culture of times past, feminists and other liberators have teetered over the brink of delusion toward uniformity. Let me illustrate this logical fallacy. We believe women are equally as valuable as men. Therefore we feel that women should have the same opportunities as men. Since we want to ensure women have the same opportunities as men, we insist that women are the same as men - and we skew job standards to gender, to support this assertion. So female candidates for a police officer position have one set of criteria they must fulfil, and male candidates have anothe...

Here's one recipe anyone can try - but shouldn't. You won't like it. Trust me. Baked Lobster 1 adult, lightly dressed 2 youngsters, lightly dressed 1 large bottle of 55 SPF sunscreen Liberally slather sunscreen on the 2 youngsters. That's it. Sounds like a no-brainer, eh? Or maybe I missed something... Anyway, we still had lots of fun at Riverview Park & Zoo today. :)

Here we are in the final days (I hope!) of getting ready to open our home for foster care, and the list of things to be done seems interminable. Medicals are done, criminal checks are done, bedrooms are ready, but still there are the last couple of reference letters to collect, CO detectors to buy, small handyman jobs to finish, locked cabinet to pick up, and... first aid training to take! Just when I thought I had everything ready to go, I realized we don't have our CPR certification. I really didn't have any idea, going into this, how much it was going to cost all at once to get up and running. It certainly can be a deterrent for anyone looking at fostering as just "a job". For us, however, it has if anything given us an opportunity to reaffirm that this is something we feel is a real calling. Whatever it takes, we will make it through, because of our convictions. Being parents is an enormous privilege, whether of biological children or otherwise. It's worth i...

I've been thoroughly enjoying making curries lately, blending my own spice pastes and hot oil to release fragrant aromas throughout the house. In fact, I've been doing a lot of from-scratch cooking in the last while: baking bread, scones, brownies, creatively using pantry staples, and finding new ways to use clearance produce. In the midst of my foodie euphoria, however, I am having some trepidation. Right now our family has adventurous palates. My husband will eat anything I make, and usually love it. My toddler will eat almost anything (except for some reason she doesn't like meat much), and my teething baby will try to eat ANYTHING she can get her hands on. And me, I love food. If it's edible, I'll eat it. But soon we will have new mouths to feed, who will probably be unused to many of the foods and flavours that we enjoy. Take lamb for instance. I don't know a whole lot of people who like lamb. We love it! It has such a great, full-bodied flavour, and is nut...

Yesterday was what Anne Shirley would call a "Jonah Day" for me. It wasn't the large cup of coffee that my toddler dumped behind the couch at 8:00 AM, it wasn't the 29°C heat in my house, it wasn't the food that got thrown on the floor at every meal... but these things didn't help. Things really started going downhill when I went to get Boo up from her morning nap and found her diaperless, smearing poop all over the crib, her body, her face and hair. Now don't get me wrong, I love my kids, and I can even see the humour of the situation - when it's happening to someone else - but at this particular moment, I felt like I was losing it. This little girl got an earful and besides that was forced under the shower despite her aversion to getting her head wet. If it's the only way to get her clean, I'm sorry, but she will just have to cry! After she was clean, dressed, and hair done up pretty, I put her downstairs in the playpen and went back up to st...

One of the reasons my posts have been sparse and oft interrupted in the last month or so is that we are in the processing of taking a big step towards opening our home to more children. That is, we are soon to be foster parents. Having passed through the rigours of psychological testing / personality profiling and an initial home inspection, we are now in the process of getting our home fully safety compliant, going through medical screening, criminal background checks, and character references. On one hand almost anyone can be a foster parent, but on the other hand, it sure takes a lot to get to be one! All the rigamarole, far from being burdensome, is just getting me more excited about being a foster parent to the kids we will have in our care. My Prince Charming and I have felt for some time now that we would like to adopt an older child who might have difficulty finding a good home. Ever since we started thinking about raising children, I knew I would love to have a big family...bu...

I read a blog yesterday that praised a parent for what I consider a terrible response to their teen's bad choices. In short, a 16 year old who was caught driving ridiculously fast was made (by his mother) to stand at a busy intersection for a month wearing a sandwich-board that said "I am stupid, I was speeding and could have gotten myself and my friends killed." Meanwhile, he awaits his court date for official punishment. Do you think I am advocating leniency for this teen's irresponsible behaviour? Certainly not. But what has this mother accomplished? She has embarrassed her son, that's for sure. And probably alienated him with her childish put-down. She will have a reputation as the woman who publicly humiliated her son for a whole month. Are any of these results desirable? If I may now be allowed to philosophize on the fine art of child-rearing, let me give a short lecture on the difference between discipline and punishment. Believe me, there is a difference....

If I could run a free advert in the local personals, it might read something like the title of this post. I am probably one of the most frequent visitors to our local library - but that doesn't mean I get to spend much time there. As a busy mom with a baby and a toddler in tow, my library visits usually consist of dashing in the door with arms full, clumsily dropping books and movies on the counter, and desperately scanning the video and new book racks in a furious 2 minute search for something that looks remotely interesting. Then I juggle my kids and library selections to check them out, stuff the new material into a diaper bag or pocket, and balance my load back out to the car or stroller to get them all home before we have a meltdown. What I would really love is to have a list of books that are guaranteed good reads, from which I can reserve a couple ahead of time and simply dash in to pick them up! So, here are my criteria for a good book. Must contain at least 2 of the follow...

Lately I've been letting my girls watch TV a little more, to wind down for nap time as well as to distract them before dinner. I know it's not the best thing for them, but it has been good for me for a couple of reasons. First (and most obviously), it helps me maintain my sanity during times when the kids are prone to crankiness. Second, since we don't actually have television per se, they are watching videos and DVDs that I have picked out for them. Shows like Franklin, Winnie The Pooh, Davey & Goliath, and the ubiquitous (in our house) VeggieTales. Shows that make me think about what I am teaching my kids. It has got me thinking about values education - how we can raise our children to be children of virtue. Children who are truthful, kind, compassionate, helpful, patient, generous, and courageous. Maybe this is shooting for the moon, when we adults can't even live up to these on a daily basis. Do you think it's unrealistic? At least no parent would say these ...

In case you haven't heard, there's a new fad out there that is taking the world by storm... at least the teen and pre-teen world. Normally I'm not big on youth trends, but for this one I may make an exception. The latest craze is...? Smoking Smarties. Or if you're Canadian (as I am), smoking Rockets. I'm not kidding, this is what the 8-15 year olds of America are really into. And as usual the media and school administrations are wayyy overreacting. Dire health warnings range from the ridiculous (smoking Smarties can give you respiratory infections) to the bizarre (maggots may nest in your nose)! And me, I'm just amazed at how the kids look to be the more mature ones in this discussion. In fact, this pop culture phenomenon is one of the least unhealthy activities that kids could indulge in these days. "Smoking" candy is basically just crushing it up in the wrapper, sucking a bit of the sugary powder into your mouth (think Pixie Sticks), and letting the ...

Just thought I'd better let everyone know - I'm not dead yet! I know it's been well over a week since I last posted, and not much has happened in the mean time. It's difficult to get in the mood to share your positive and encouraging thoughts, when your thoughts have been rather less than positive and encouraging, largely due to depressing weather, teething cranky children, and insurmountable housework! There have, however, been a few bright spots. 1. We have our whole house to ourselves, for the first time since being married! When I married Prince Charming in 2005 we first lived with my in-laws (because our first house fell through), and then rented an apartment in the upstairs of a nice older couple's century home. We bought this house in November of 2007 (when Boo - my oldest daughter - was born), and have had tenants in our basement since we moved in. Our latest tenants are now completely moved out, and it feels like we just got a new house! It's pretty exc...