The Happy Domestic

*This is a stub of an unfinished blog post from November 20, 2018. I am publishing it just to document what was going on at that time. A couple of months ago we received a newsletter from some friends who do children's ministry, and in it they mentioned an upcoming trip to an orphanage in Haiti, where they would be leading a Vacation Bible School for a week. Andrew and I have both, at various points, been interested in doing mission work...but our understanding of missions (and our role in that) has changed. Our primary "mission" has been raising our girls since they were born, and will continue to be until they're all grown up. But anyways, reading about our friend's upcoming trip sparked something with Andrew. He says, "I never really thought of Haiti before. I had visited Ghana, and considered other countries in Africa, but here is Haiti - the poorest country in the western hemisphere, in our own time zone, a short flight away... and with very great need...

Hello friends and readers! How time has flown. Life has continued in all it's ups and downs since my last excursions into blogging. Our family is now six! Fostering is now a distant memory, and our own children are growing quickly. Having four girls ages 5-10 is sometimes a challenge, but mostly a lot of fun! We live a simple, hearty life, homeschooling and being entrepreneurs. I am now an ESL teacher with VIPKID, and am finding much joy and fulfillment in teaching children in China (from home, thanks to the internet)! It is making me a better mom and teacher to our own children here too.  Boo is 10 this November, and she has started her own blog as well, which I'm trying to encourage her to use as a regular creative outlet. Once she gets in the habit of posting regularly, I hope to link to her from my blog. She is such a funny girl! Cutes is nearly 9, and still loves sneaking snacks. ;) DJ is 7, and is working hard at earning the title of "the good chil...

I do not like housework. I like to cook, bake, even iron clothes, when my house is clean & tidy, and above all QUIET. Which pretty much never happens. I still make an effort to cook and bake when I can muster the fortitude, because the payoff is so worth it! I do love food. But then, I do not like housework. And cooking and baking have the unfortunate side effect of creating more of it. Another blogger mentioned amongst her radical purging that she kept only enough dishes and utensils for one meal, and enough clothes for 7 days. Although I have considered such measures for clothes, it never occurred for me to do the same with dishes! I usually thank God I have so many dishes, so I can get through a whole day of meals (and then some, depending on the meals and who is home) without having to do dishes. But after sitting crusted with food from breakfast until late evening, cereal bowls get harder to clean. Forcing myself to use fewer dishes in a day - what a fantastic idea! I feel a...

I must confess I have been doing much more blog reading than blog writing! One of the many blogs I have been sporadically following made the following comment on budgeting for groceries: "If you are on a particularly tight budget, it is realistic to spend $100-$150 per family member for the month." The author also noted that this includes toiletries, diapers, etc. as needed. So, for our family of 6, not counting the 3-4 times a week we are feeding an extra 2 people, we should be spending... $600-$900?? I realize that this is highly subjective depending on what area you live, cost of food, etc., but this blog post was from July 2008! Here we are in 2011, and when I spend $600 a month for groceries, we are definitely over budget! Is my budget unreasonable? I do cook at least a few meals a week from scratch, and I don't buy pre-made meals. My "fast-food" dinners are things like hotdogs or spaghetti. I also have 3 kids in diapers (one almost done toilet training...

I came across a great blog last week, on a side trip from I'm An Organizing Junkie , of a mom who describes herself as a slob on a journey of de-slobification. She talks about her difficulty maintaining (isn't that always the kicker) a clean home, and how her ability to see/solve/be-motivated-to-tackle small to medium size messes differs from what she calls "normal people". This strikes a chord with me, even though I have been doing fairly well with keeping my kitchen and dining room in order and nearly keeping up with the laundry recently. The fact is, my poor husband grew up with a normal mom whose house was always neat and clean, except perhaps for brief interludes in a particular room when her kids were playing indoors. Andrew naturally enjoys order, and notices when things are NOT in order. This is not to say that he always picks up after himself (after all, he was the only boy in a good Dutch family with four girls - he had many things done for him) but I mus...

Today I am in Belleville taking a course on therapeutic relationships and the effects of complex trauma. I find that no matter how much study, research, and real-life experience one is exposed to, there is always something more you can learn or improve upon. Sometimes when I am in the position of being taught by someone recognized as an authority, I find myself interposing my own values and philosophies and questioning a lot of what I am being taught. Do you? Is this a bad thing? I have heard quite a lot of people say that it is wrong or disrespectful to question authority, but I think I disagree. We should take hold of what anyone tells us (in person, in writing, or through whatever medium) and turn it over, examine it closely, critique it, take it apart and assimilate what is true and useful, then discard or store away the rest. In doing so, we take ownership of what we know and believe, and can better appropriate / apply it to our own circumstances. In this case I am learning a ...

Our family has grown so quickly over the last three and a half years that most days feel like a little corner of chaos. My three youngest children are in diapers, and my two oldest are excessively hormonal teenagers! We are in the midst of renovations to add space for another child, and my darling husband is trying hard to balance two different jobs with the demands of our family life. Yesterday, notwithstanding the usual chaos, I had my most enjoyable Mothers' Day yet. In the morning I had Cheerios and Earl Grey tea in bed, while I read my favourite blogs and enjoyed a half hour of quiet time. After church I had a lovely and relaxing visit with my mom-in-law and sisters-in-law while the children played outside, and later we enjoyed a walk around our quiet neighbourhood in beautiful sunshine before a quick leftover dinner and bed. After the children were asleep I laid down for a catnap and then played a game on the computer for a little while, and my husband brought me a McD'...

Anyone who has known me for a long time can tell you I'm FAR from perfect. I'm messy, disorganized, chaotic, spontaneously irrational, a procrastinator, and frequently just plain lazy. I yell when I'm angry, I am inconsistent, and my housekeeping skills are poor. I don't take time every day to enjoy my children. I binge on fatty, salty, and / or sugary foods when I'm stressed or depressed. I don't intentionally exercise. I speak before I think. I don't keep in touch with friends and family. I don't take enough care of myself. And, I'm not very humble. ;) As it happens, I also have a lot of great qualities, which I prefer to focus on. Sometimes though, every one of us sees (or reads / hears about) someone out there who succeeds in all the areas we fail. Maybe it's a blogger mom who is super organized with an orderly house and great time management skills. Maybe it's a friend who has the perfect marriage (whatever that means to you). Or maybe...

Hello dear readers! It has been several months since I last posted on this blog, since the life of a large family has consumed much of my time and resources. From time to time I have thought of The Happy Domestic blog, as issues have come up on which I felt I had something of value to say or share, but mostly these have been shelved for a more opportune time. In recent days, however, I have had a number of people ask me when I will put up another post, and tell me that they miss reading my day-in-the-life stories, encouragement, and recipes. So, dear readers, I will try to set aside some regular time (weekly, perhaps) to blog about things that I hope will be helpful or humourous for you to enjoy. Stay tuned to get the latest on some great new recipes that I have discovered, and some life lessons I have learned in the last year! I look forward to renewing my creative outlets here, on The Happy Domestic.

A blog I read recently about the misguided idealization of "Liberty" has coincided with some family issues going on in my life, and got me thinking about the American dream of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Sure, I am Canadian through and through, but let's face it, Canadian culture is greatly influenced by this ideal. Our own Charter of Rights & Freedoms essentially strives toward the same goal, at least in the ways the Charter is being interpreted in courtrooms across Canada today. The focus today is not as heavily on true equality as it is on the assurance of individual rights. This cultural idea that every individual has the fundamental right to do as they please and pursue their own happiness is so ingrained in our society that mere children are being molded into this image of individual entitlement. You see it in the 8 year old throwing a tantrum in WalMart because his mommy said "no" to a new toy... and too often she ends up giving in...

My facebook status this weekend generated some curiosity among friends and acquaintances, so I thought it might be beneficial to post details and photos of my latest project. As many of you know, I am very concerned with reducing our eco-footprint, and saving items from landfill. I'm also all about frugality, health, and making things from scratch. And, I love food. I have wanted to have my own veggie garden for the last two years, but have been stuck in ruts along the way. Two years ago I bought a bunch of seeds, and never got around to planting them. Last year I bought seedling starter pods and had my wonderful husband till a plot of ground in our backyard for me to plant. Unfortunately my seedlings damped off and failed to thrive, and the tilled ground required more prep work than I had the energy to do (breaking up lumps, removing stones / grass / weeds). Finally this year I discovered raised bed gardening, which eliminated the tilling issues, and "lasagna gardening...

This recipe was born of urgent necessity. A lazy Saturday turned into evening without any plans for dinner, and hungry kids waiting on mom. This mom put on her improv hat and pulled out a pot... a short time later everyone was slurping this delicious soup happily. Eater beware: No claims are made regarding fat content. Hey, this is convenience comfort food! Quick Loaded Baked Potato Soup 3 cups chicken stock or broth 4 cups water 4 medium potatoes, peeled & finely diced 2 handfuls finely chopped green onions (reserve 2 tbsp) 1 generous handful real bacon bits 1 cup milk 1/4 cup cream 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese 3 tbsp corn starch (mix with cold water to make slurry) salt to taste Bring chicken stock and water to a boil, add potatoes and green onions (reserving 2 tbsp for garnish). Boil rapidly until potatoes are tender. Turn down to medium-low, add bacon bits, milk, cream, and mozzarella. Stir well until cheese is melted. Add corn starch slurry, stirring brisk...

Well girls, here I am coming out of blogger semi-retirement after such a long lapse. My own family life has consumed so much of my energy these past months that I have had nothing left over to give to the blogosphere... until now. The issue of maternal health is a pressing one, both nationally (in Canada) and globally, and there is much posturing and politicizing on both ends of the spectrum. If you care about women, if you care about humanity, READ THIS. The recent discussion of the G8 agenda for child and maternal health has reopened (at least in Canada) the debate over abortion. I have friends both "pro-life" and "pro-choice", but I have yet to find one person who thinks that abortion is evil but should be permitted. Generally supporters and opposers of access to abortions fall into two categories: 1) those who think it's wrong (usually based on religious beliefs), and 2) those who think it's sometimes the right choice for a woman (based on ethical and ...

A friend of mine with whom I was sharing the burdens of housewifery and parenting this week made me realize how far I have departed from mainstream North American consumer culture. Shocked by the thought of me spending 2 - 4 hours a day cooking, and trying to help me alleviate some of my time-stress and work load, she suggested I buy more prepackaged meals and convenience foods. This suggestion appalled me, and suddenly made me realize how much I have changed in 5 years. It's not just the fact that nearly any prepackaged food from the grocery store costs four times as much (or more) to buy as to make from scratch; as I ardently protested over the phone, the true costs are much higher, and certainly not worth the savings in time. Consider the ingredients of even a "healthy" prepackaged meal. The list is longer than your fifth grade essays, and half the ingredients are unpronounceable without a graduate degree in chemistry. Then think about the interactions of all those...

Last week, I took the plunge. Pushing aside my habitual procrastination, disorganization and impulsivity, I sat down and created a weekly meal plan. Breakfast, morning snack, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner, dessert or evening snack, and all beverages for each day meticulously planned out to the smallest detail, I then wrote a grocery list based on that plan. I estimated the cost of groceries required. And I had a fit. Here's the thing. My meal plan was based on exactly how much every member of our household eats on a daily basis, and was made up of foods we regularly prepare and consume. Everything was to be made from scratch, and sales and discounts were taken into account. My total came to just about $140. Our weekly grocery budget is $80, but allows for an extra $20 a couple times a month for diapers. How is this possible? I know for a fact that we have not been spending anywhere near $140 a week on groceries. I haven't been eating as much lately due to pregnancy sicknes...

I'm posting this recipe because my mom unexpectedly mentioned how much she had loved this salad one time when she was over... I can't even remember when I served it to her, that's how long ago it was, and I'm shocked that she remembered it. Anyway, mom says she's been waiting and waiting for me to blog it, so here goes. Please note that "Asian" in the title refers to the dressing and style, not to the cabbage. Asian Cabbage Salad 1/2 head of green cabbage, shredded 1 pkg ramen noodles with Oriental or Chicken seasoning* 1 small handful of sesame seeds 1 tbsp vegetable oil 2 tbsp soya sauce 2 tbsp white vinegar 1 1/2 tsp brown sugar approx. 1/4 c vegetable oil Prepare cabbage in a large salad bowl and set aside. In a heavy bottomed pan or wok, heat 1 tbsp oil over medium heat. Break up ramen noodles into small pieces and add to pan, along with sesame seeds. Heat together while stirring frequently with a wooden spoon, until noodles and sesame se...

Well folks, it's Christmas Day. Actually, night. And here I am in fine Christmas spirit, exorcising my humbugs on Blogger. I should be catching up on mountains of paperwork, which, actually, I have been doing to a certain extent already, but it's just so hard to concentrate on work with a belly full of treats, a house full of opened presents, and a brain full of notes to self (tinged with a smidgen of hormones). It may not be New Year's Eve yet, but I feel like summing up the year, or at least the month, in review. December has been... interesting. Other possible adjectives include strange, perplexing, frustrating, promising, sickly, busy, predictable, difficult, exciting, and full of change. I have a hard time keeping up with my own life. At least I'm not puking every day, which is more than can be said for the first few weeks of December. At best, my girlies are the highlight of my life, particularly when they're not driving me up the wall. And Thank You God for...

I have heard several couples declare they don't celebrate Valentine's Day. These are loving, well-adjusted couples who give a lot of attention to their relationship and their partners, every day of the year. Valentines Day, in comparison, seems like such a cheap, commercial version of the real thing, that they don't see the point in celebrating it. Sometimes that's how I feel about Christmas. One day 2000-ish years ago, Jesus Christ was born. He lived a remarkable life, and then he died. Three days later he rose again, and he has profoundly impacted the world and my life ever since. We celebrate him every day. We live life with him every day. So decorating a tree and buying presents for others and stuffing ourselves with treats seems so meaningless in comparison. And so much pointless effort. Then I think about how I saw Christmas as a kid. The lights, the tree, the mysterious packages, the delectable smells and tastes, all these gave me a sense of greater magic tha...

I have six kids. Seven if you count my husband. Are they all mine? Thankfully, no. But this kind of craziness explains in part why blogging has taken a backseat to real life in the past ...weeks? month? Anyhow. My girlies are turning 1 and 2 in a week and a bit, and I am going to be 28. For some reason I feel like I've been 28 forever and I should be turning 31 by now. We just found out that we have a foster child being placed in our home full time, and she is already staying with us. This is exciting, and so far things have been going well. All (3) of our girls are getting along great and enjoying each other's company. On Tuesday some friends of ours were able to get last minute flights to Alberta to pick up some belongings that have been missed for some time, so we are also looking after their three school-aged children. Despite my initial panic, life has continued on at a manageable but very busy pace. I love to be creative in the kitchen, but cooking for eight (me and h...

I was sent an email from the agency I work with today containing a presentation of Fast Facts on H1N1 by a qualified medical doctor. I found it extremely interesting, from the charts and tables to the statistics quoted.  I particularly enjoyed doing the math. According to the presentation, nine to twelve out of every hundred people get the flu, or up to 42 in 100 if they have young children (in school or daycare). 11/1000 of these got REALLY sick, enough that they went to their local emergency clinic and sat waiting however long it took for someone to actually take them in and examine them. So now we have around a tenth of a percent of the normal population (0.132%) really sick. Got that? Now 7/10,000 of THOSE people died (in the U.S.)... putting us at an expected 0.0000924% rate of death in the population. That means that in Northumberland, Hastings, and Prince Edward Counties (a combined population of 236,933) there may be 0.2 people who die... in their worst case scenario. I'll...